Selene meets Bruce Wayne meets Bruce Banner
Selene - Kate Beckinsale
Bruce Wayne - Micheal Keaton
Bruce Banner - Eric Bana
Standing alone by the partially opened French windows, Selene parted the heavy black velvet curtain with one hand, and let her eyes travel over the beautiful night, the still blackness of the sky, scattered with countless stars. Each star to her held an individual beauty, each sparkling point a reminder of the legion of humanity which cloaked the earth. She barely held the curtain with an inch of her fingertips, before turning her head away, and letting it slip back into its place.
The room was dark, shadows of various pieces of Victorian furniture decorated the solid wood floor, and Selene stood there silently, her eyes studying the shadow that was coming towards her, the figure of a man that was quickly closing the distance between them to only a delicate few short feet.
She breathed out his name softly, unable to stop a light smile from decorating her ivory skin clad face. “Michael.”
"Er, no Kate, you have to call me Bruce, thats my character name..." he muttered, hoping nobody had noticed. Suddenly, the windows burst open, sending shards of glass and wood flying through the room like a swarm of angry locusts. A huge, green figure landed in the floor between, the shockwaves from his landing toppling the antique dresser, and breaking the large rococo mirror perched atop. Fortunately Selene was a vampire and had no need for a mirror but still, thats 7 years bad luck for anybody. I mean, being a creature of the night may look pretty cool in the films, but the tight leather suits can cause fungal infections, and Boots isn't generally open during the eldritch hours of darkness patrolled by your average nosferatu, so extra bad luck is not a prospect to be taken lightly. Selene let out a cat-like hiss of frustration, drew two shining chrome automatic pistols, and demanded of the intruder, "Who are you, and what is the meaning of this intrusion?"
The figure stood in the centre of a small crater of wood and glass, growling softly and staring about the room menacingly, before letting out a cry of rage...
"HULK HUNGRY!"
Bruce approached the figure cautiously, like you might approach a particularly tricky game of Buckaroo, you know, when you only have a couple of items left, and one of them is the rope and there is no space left and you really don't want to lose to Kevin again, even though it is Xmas and your mum always says you should let him win. "Calm down Eric, I mean Hulk, there is plenty of food here. Why, I was just coming to let Selene know dinner is being served downstairs. There is soup to start, it's pea so even if you're a messy eater nobody will notice. Then there is pork steak served with celeriac mash and green beans, with jelly and ice cream for dessert. Selene never eats much, so there will be enough to go round. Would you care to join us?" The green behemoth seemed to consider the question, and then, mysteriously, as his breathing calmed he seemed to shrink, until before they knew it there was a human standing before them, wearing nothing but ripped purple trousers and a sheepish expression.
"Hi, my name is Bruce and I would be delighted to join you for dinner, and pay for any damages of course..." he said, absently wiping a smear of blood from his cheek, blood that was trickling steadily from a cut just below his eye, presumably from when he had jumped through the window.
Soon, the trio were sat down to eat. Selene skipped the starter, opting instead for a glass of what appeared to be Ribena, while Bruce Wayne (that's the first one that looks a bit like Beetlejuice) and Bruce Banner (the one that looks like Eric Bana) tucked in with gusto. As the main course arrived, both the Bruces started to eat, and Selene's eyes followed a fresh trickle of blood work its way down the face of Banner, before falling, as if in slow motion, onto his celeriac and beans. Banner noticed Selene's attention and asked her if she was not hungry.
"Not particularly, although I will try a small part of yours if you don't mind" she said with a smile, before leaning over slowly and sipping her finger into the mashed celeriac and scooping up the small part that was topped with blood, before seductively sucking her finger clean.
Banner let out a yell of anger, growing larger and greener with every second, his chair flying back and the table overturning as his transformation once more into the irradiated monster became complete.
"NO!" he shouted "NO PUNY WOMAN. HULK'S MASH!"
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